| Q. What do you call a turtle that sleeps all day and stays up all night? A. "Noc-turtle"! |
| Q: Where do you find a dog with no legs? A: Right where you left it! |
DOG PROPERTY RULES
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the
pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to
be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something
and you put it down, it automatically
becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the
pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to
be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something
and you put it down, it automatically
becomes mine.
10. If its broken, it's yours.
| Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying "DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG!" posted on the glass door. Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register. He asked the store manager, "Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?" "Yep, that's him," he replied. The stranger looked amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would you put up that sign?" "Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him." |
| Two guys were out hiking in the woods when they came across an angry grizzly bear protecting two of her cubs. The bear rose up on its paws and started growling at the two men, who froze in their tracks. One of the guys reaches in to his pack to pull out his sneakers and starts to put them on. The other guy looks at him and says, "Why are you putting on your sneakers, you can't outrun that bear." "Of course, I can't outrun the bear," replies the friend, " but all I have to do is outrun you." |
How many dogs does it take to change a
light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is
young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and
you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out
bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any
wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the
light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed
me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm
bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the
carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to
sleep on the couch.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky
toys in the dark.......
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got
this hangover.....
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? That thing I just
ate was a light bulb?
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led
these people from the dark, check to make sure I
haven't missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take
advantage of the situation.
Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People
change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the
question is: how long will it be before I can expect my
light?
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and
he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house,
my nails will be dry.
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs
into a little circle...
light bulb?
Golden Retriever: The sun is shining, the day is
young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and
you're inside worrying about a stupid burned out
bulb?
Border Collie: Just one. And then I'll replace any
wiring that's not up to code.
Dachshund: You know I can't reach that stupid lamp!
Rottweiler: Make me.
Lab: Oh, me, me!!!! Pleeeeeeze let me change the
light bulb! Can I? Can I? Huh? Huh? Huh? Can I?
Malamute: Let the Border Collie do it. You can feed
me while he's busy.
Jack Russell Terrier: I'll just pop it in while I'm
bouncing off the walls and furniture.
Cocker Spaniel: Why change it? I can still pee on the
carpet in the dark.
Doberman Pinscher: While it's dark, I'm going to
sleep on the couch.
Boxer: Who cares? I can still play with my squeaky
toys in the dark.......
Mastiff: Mastiffs are NOT afraid of the dark.
Chihuahua: Yo quiero Taco Bulb.
Irish Wolfhound: Can somebody else do it? I've got
this hangover.....
Pointer: I see it, there it is, there it is, right there....
Greyhound: It isn't moving. Who cares?
Old English Sheep Dog: Light bulb? That thing I just
ate was a light bulb?
German Shepherd: I'll change it as soon as I've led
these people from the dark, check to make sure I
haven't missed any, and make just one more
perimeter patrol to see that no one has tried to take
advantage of the situation.
Westie: Dogs do not change light bulbs. People
change light bulbs, I am not one of THEM, so the
question is: how long will it be before I can expect my
light?
Hound Dog: ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz
Poodle: I'll just blow in the Border Collie's ear and
he'll do it. By the time he finishes rewiring the house,
my nails will be dry.
Australian Shepherd: First, I'll put all the light bulbs
into a little circle...
Ten Dog Rules
1.The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but
only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, fine, the dog is allowed in all rooms, but
has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture,
but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on
the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only
by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he
wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by
invitation only!
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every
night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under
the covers with the dog.
1.The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but
only in certain rooms.
3. Ok, fine, the dog is allowed in all rooms, but
has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
5. Fine, the dog is allowed on all the furniture,
but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on
the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed on the bed, but only
by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he
wants, but not under the covers.
8. The dog can sleep under the covers by
invitation only!
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every
night.
10. Humans must ask permission to sleep under
the covers with the dog.
| Q. Did you ever notice that when ducks migrate in their Vee formation, one side of the line is longer than the other? Know why that is? A. There's more ducks in it. |
| Ham & Eggs... A days work for the chicken; a lifelong commitment for the pig! |
| A three legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw." |
Q. What's the difference between roast beef and pea
soup???
A. Anyone can roast beef.
soup???
A. Anyone can roast beef.
Q. Why do gorillas have big nostrils?
A. Because they have big fingers.
A. Because they have big fingers.
| Q. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A. A stick. |
| Q. What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A. Nacho cheese. |
| If a dog barks in the forest and there is nobody around to hear him, is he still a "Bad dog"? |
| Never trust a dog to watch your food. |
| A Day In the Life of A Young Dog This morning, I woke up & kissed my dad's head. I peed on the carpet, then went back to bed. "The life of a puppy, oh my, this is great." Then I thought about breakfast, "I hope it's not late" Mom took me outside, we walked for a while. This never fails, to make Mama smile. I sniffed of everything, that we did pass, I ate something weird -- it gave me gas. I'm sure God loves me, I know that is true. He gave me so many great things to chew. Rugs, plants or rocks, I really don't care. What I truly like best, is Dad's underwear. That obedience book, was sort of yummy. Though it didn't sit well on my poor puppy tummy. I threw up a bit, but that was all right, When Mom found it later, I was well out of sight. I made streamers of T.P., while running at full speed. Mom's pretty quick -- but I was still in the lead. I flew under the bed, and Mom flew past, She stopped -- shook her head, and breathed, "You're too fast." Mama later phoned Daddy, and said, "It was frightening!" That afternoon, she was sure I'd pooped lighting. She'd sat at the computer, while I chewed the cord, She thought I was mad, but I was just bored. When Mama had enough, couldn't take anymore, That's when my tushy got shoved out the door. I love it inside, but outside is best. Lay in the cool grass, and had a good rest. That didn't last long, there was too much to do-Can't quite remember where I hid Daddy's shoe. I found an old bone, and scratched at a flea, I watched the dumb squirrels as they jumped in a tree. I barked at the kids, when they got off the bus. I can't figure out why this makes Mama fuss. I barked at the neighbor, I barked at the wind. I barked and barked, till Mom yelled, "COME IN." The sun dipped in the west-soon Daddy would come! I sure love my daddy: we always have fun. I barked at my daddy, then turned on my charms, I woo-wooed, "Hello," then jumped in his arms. Sitting under the table -- it's sooo hard to wait. Daddy slipped me a goodie right off his plate. I raced through the house, and scattered my toys, Ricocheted off the furniture, and made lots of noise. Mom found her purse -- the one I abused. Daddy let loose a chuckle. Mom asked "Amused??" I cowered down low, I must be in trouble. Dad said, "Wasn't MY boy, it must be his double!" Mom turned off the TV, and said, "Time for bed." Dad said "Let's go boy," and patted my head. I got in my spot, between Mom and Dad, I thought 'bout my day and what fun I had. Mama kicked out my bone from the covers below, Then let loose a sigh -- a sigh deep and low. She gave me a kiss, and snuggled me tight, and whispered so softly, "My darling, goodnight." Author unknown |
Q. Why do Seagulls fly over the sea?
A. Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be
bagels....
A. Because if they flew over the bay, they'd be
bagels....
Q. What do you call a
kitten after six months
old?
A. Seven months old!
kitten after six months
old?
A. Seven months old!
| Q. What is the best way to catch a fish? A. Ask someone to toss it to you! |
| Q. What song was played when the cookies got married? A. Here crumbs the bride! |
| Q. How do you get down off an elephant? A. You don't! You get down off a duck, silly! |
| Q: Why did Mozart sell his chickens? A: Because they kept saying "Bach", "Bach", "Bach"... |
| Q. What' the difference between broccoli and boogers? A. Kids won't eat broccoli... |
| Q. Why do bees have sticky hair? A. Because they use honey combs! |
| Q. What do you get when you cross a dog with a hen? A: Pooched eggs |
| Q: How do you make a blonde laugh on Saturday? A: Tell her a joke on Wednesday. |
| Three Blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks. The first Blonde said "those are deer tracks." The second Blonde said "No, those are elk tracks." The third Blonde said "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks." The Blondes were still arguing when the train hit them. |
| Q: What type of lights did Noah have on the ark? A: Flood lights! |
| Q. What do you call a smart blonde? A: A golden retriever. |
| :: RunAmok Farm ~ Jus' For Fun :: |
| :: A few candid shots around our place... and a lot of corny jokes as well! :: |
| 208-669-0594 ra_aussies@msn.com |
| We apologize for the temporary "mess" our site is in! We are doing a little "spring cleaning", so things will be a bit confusing for a week or two! We promise, this won't take long, and the site will be more readily accessible SOON! Jaque |
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| A "RunAmok" puppy! |
| Disclaimer: The information obtained on our site, or found in the links provided, is not to be construed as medical or legal advice. Our recommendations are derived from our personal experiences and from years of study, however the decisions concerning feeding and vaccinations and how you implement those decisions are yours and yours alone. |
| NEW! Beautiful, naturally-reared, Champion-sired Miniature Australian Shepherd puppy! More information: LIL' RUSTLERS |
